This weekend

Okay so this weekend, I had forgotten that I offered to go to lunch with my boss.

I had promised two weeks ago when my son and his brood of friends that all seem to think I am their mama or memm, as they call me, (gee thanks cartman) were supposed to get together. I told them to come over this weekend. I love the kids. We Skype and talk shit and look at ykydaw and fb and whatnot all the time. I mean these are good kids and fun to be around. And I guess I am the cool mom. Errybody waits for me to pick up JOLLY (that's his nickname at school) so they can talk shit at the gate with me.

I know that I bail out on my boss a lot but then I figure if I work with you all week, why do I need to see you on the weekend? Anyway.

I said to her when she called on Saturday morning, I am just waking up I will call you back. Two mins later, Olivia and her mom get there. And Linton calls to remind me to pick him up. I said ok three of y’all is the limited. So as we finally leave after Livii holds me down and washes my hair , blow dries and TRIES to flat iron it. (My hiar is straight at the roots and curly on the ends and unruly and wild the whole damn way through) she gives up and throws the shit in a pony tail.

We leave to drop a part off at the mechanic, Mr. Prince whose hairline starts behind his ears and he look like a black hobbit. My boss calls and ask if I on the way for her. I say no I thought we were meeting there. Her reply…. “It’s your deal, you treating so, you driving” MUTHA FUCK

Hmmm. I need this job to keep Joee ass in school but what fuck again now? Anyway, I go and pick Ms thing up and she has the nerve to say… if I knew there was going to be company I wouldn’t have come… my thought bubble was instantaneous… get the fuck out the car then.

Ms Thing says then she have a steak out dinner to pick up. I’m thinking it is nearby where the usually are on the beach but NO this bitch mean the fucking ghetto on the other end of the island. A

nywhooo…. I gotta pick up Linton and it’s not to far from where he lives so no prob… then this chap headed bitch goes on her cell phone with her grown ass bitch ass son and they giggling and laughing taking bout… “Ju, promised there wouldn’t be anyone else with us” then she said “Well , you know how SHE is, not reliable at all” another laugh and “I won’t tell her you said that” Did I mention we on the other end of the fucking island from were she lives?

My teeth steady grinding in the car and my jaw tight right up and the kids in the back laughing at her and her funny looking self telling them these stale ass jokes. Olivia and Linton keep playing songs on their cell phones to annoy her and Joee laughing his ass off. My heart is in the back seat with em wishing I could tell her to just leave.

So we go to Bennigans for lunch, she jumps up… “they aren’t sitting with us are they?”

*blink, blink*

The kids sit in the booth behind us and I spent most of my time wishing that I was with them. She talking and all I hearing is blah blah blah… and looking at teeth that look like they be a jail for her tongue… fubar is not the word. Then this high headed heifa want talk bout she should order something to go…. Bitch I just dropped a dime. Are you serious right now? You the lawyer and I am yo assistant… you need to be treating me. Cheap ass! I said “at least you have those steak outs sweating in the car for later” and then said to the kids “time to go!!!”

Finally we finish lunch, we in the car and she trying to find out where we going next…

oh no monkey YOU going home.

Me and Mine hitting the bowling alley and have some fun talking bout your stale ass.

We get to the bowling alley and get an hour and some shoes and just when I say Livii use your phone and video how Jolly (my son) waddles up to the bowl line… he pick the one time the phone out and recording to slip and fall his linebacker midget ass over the foul line.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (deep breath) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

You know that done posted on facey!

Jesus take the wheel!

How was your weekend?